Romance vs Marriage

My husband and I went to a wonderful wedding reception for a friend this past weekend. It's probably the 10th wedding we've attended as a married couple. I don't mind telling you that we've been married for 15 years so far. In that time, we've seen a littered trail of friends' marriages dissolve. To add to that, both our parents have gone through divorce and have blended families.

It seems that it's the oddity these days to stay married. I have wondered if we are just biding our time before the inevitable happens. But then, we happen upon a rare, incredible jewel of an evening where we see everything wonderful and in one another again. We revive the romance that has been buried under loads of laundry, mountains of bills, quelled under settling sibling disputes and conquered by countless times of cleaning carpets. We drift away from romance like ships drifting off course, but somehow, magically we find our way back to True North and true love. It's amazing how it happens. I attribute it to maturity, choosing your spouse wisely but mostly, being able to say yes to love, over and over again.

Connect with Giving Thanks

We just put away the jack-o-lanterns and now it's time for the turkey and stuffing in just two weeks.! As I think about the celebration of Thanksgiving, it moves me to pontificate with whom I'd like to spend my time over the holidays. I have to ask the question, "Who and what brings joy to my life?"


In my mind, Thanksgiving gives us real motivation to be deliberate in our thankfulness for those in our lives who give us sustenance, love, memories and enjoyment. When I get down to the nitty gritty, I know that I'm blessed with many people in my life. I just hope that God gives me the patience to deal with the blessings he's given me! I have two aging parents, two sisters, several nieces and two nephews, three parent-in-laws, one husband, three kids, one dog, one cat, several great neighbors and of course, my dear girlfriends.

When I think of who brings joy to my life, of course, I have to include all of the above. But there are many "things" that bring joy as well such as music, forwarded emails, e-cards, funny videos on YouTube, http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/ and www.ted.com/talks. I'll be honest, I spend 8 or more hours a day online thanks in part to my job and my ever-growing email addiction.

I plan to spend Thanksgiving offline all the while being thankful for the people in my life who exist in my day to day world and maybe, I'll sneak in a few emails just for good measure.

Doing Well vs Doing Good

I recently read that the middle class is too busy doing well to do good. I feel that pinch in my life. My husband and I both work full time, come home to three children and then handle dinner, homework, dance class and of course, we turn on the TV most nights. In my opinion, this is not all there is. I feel like we could/should be doing more for others around us and with our blessings that we have in our lives.

We are searching for a church again and with the holidays upon us, I am feeling the need to find a way to reach out to make more of a difference on a more personal level so that our entire family can be involved.

How do you do good or are you too busy doing well?

Living a lifetime in One Day

One of my favorite movies is The World According to Garp with Robin Williams based on the book by John Irving. One of the most memorable scenes to me was when Garp (Williams) is playing dragon with his sons in the front yard. He tells Helen (his wife) that sometimes you can live a lifetime in one day.

I think I did just that. The best of times and the worst of times all in one day, okay, maybe a weekend.

This beautiful sunny weekend was wrought with challenges in parenting and emotional well-being. My husband and I faced dealing with my gifted yet severely ADD 13 year old son and his whopping 11 average in Math class. Yes, you read correctly. An 11 average in pre-algebra. How exactly does one accomplish that? I try to tell him that "F" doesn't stand for "fabulous" but somehow it doesn't register.

Throw into that my youngest son who has anger issues, an empty checking account, a cranky husband, and a daughter who hosted a sleepover for two other girls and you have quite a fun time!!

Parenting and marriage are tough on a daily basis. The balancing act of keeping one's cool in the face of teenagers, a mountain of laundry, the maltepoo who still isn't house trained at 1 1/2 years old and oh yeah, trying to squeeze in some "fun" is not always easy. Somehow though, we managed to bond over the weekend, by cooking breakfast, taking a Sunday drive to a quaint college town and watching all the kids frolic among the fall leaves and huge oak trees while wrestling and turning cartwheels as my husband and I walked arm-in-arm.

Just like Garp, we lived a lifetime in one day. We probably do this everyday but we don't always take a moment to acknowledge it. I am glad I did this time.