Christmas 2007

For the first time since my niece and nephew were born in 2005, my entire extended family just spent Christmas together. We had 5 children, two dogs, two sisters and their husbands and our mom and dad all together under one roof.

It may not sound like such a big deal but distance and responsibilities keep us away more often than not so it is a major accomplishment for our family. It is definitely a memory maker for my children. My 9 year old daughter Jillian instinctively knows the value of extended family and clamors for it constantly so this was a wonderful Christmas for her.

My two sons enjoyed rolling on the floor with their cousins, listening to their Papa tell stories and jokes and learn from their Uncle Brian.

Despite the age differences the kids all just loved being together. The grandparents finally have their youngest grandchildren together and we all got the benefits of having a family instead of just a voice on the other end of the phone or someone to forward emails. It is tricky spending days with those whom you don't see everyday and trying to understand one another's differences. For instance, I am a total and go and do-er where as my sister is a homebody. Our two ways of life are very different but we each lead our family with our own style.

My memories of Christmas 2007 will include Emily repeating "Don't Worry, Be Happy, just one more time" so I could try to capture it on video. My dog being such a great sport and sticking close to me but all the while joining in the fun. My dad and mom cooking and cleaning in the kitchen and my brother in law and I both taking pictures of the events at hand.

We also watched The Polar Express together and listened to Nick exclaim "Oh NO!" when ever something on the TV looked interesting. Driving around looking at Christmas lights, seeing the full moon and Mars in the telescope, munching on cookies, and seeing all the kids just squeal with excitement about the whole experience. Phone calls to distant Uncles and our other sister in Pennsylvania and text messages wishing me Happy Holidays from my three best girlfriends on the planet.

We aren't finished with the holiday but I can say that this one has been one to enjoy despite the slow start that I've had the entire of month of December. We haven't done many of the typical family things we usually do such as look at Christmas lights, attend parties or be as festive as we've usually been but thankfully the past 48 hours have made up for that. It's been a Merry Christmas so far.

Doing Things vs Buying Things

What Would Jesus Buy? Sort of a poignant question to ask this Christmas, don't you think?

Actually, it's the title of a new movie that is circulating around the U.S. this Christmas. However, it's not showing in Charlotte, NC - go figure. I wonder if being the banking Capital of the Southeast has something to do with that.

I have an extreme interest in this as I've learned in my 42+ years that buying stuff ain't all its cracked up to be. Oh, I admit to being the quintessential consumer. I have stood in the bitter cold on any given Black Friday to attempt to score the oh-so-tempting fabulous deals. Like a lemming flocking to a cliff (yea I know it's a urban legend but it's still a good analogy), several of us would flock to the $399.00 deal for a laptop or the mp3 player for $9.99.

But wait, those deals are awesome! Why wouldn't you want to get in on that action? Good question. I wondered the same thing.

But then, I reflected and asked myself - "Where is the laptop today?" DEAD. My son spilled chocolate milk on it.

What about the mp3 player? GONE. The dog used it as a chew toy. You see a pattern? Stuff doesn't last - at least not for long but the debt and/or lack of funds after purchasing said items has lasting effects.

When you're younger and more prone to "buy in" (pardon the pun) to the marketing hype and get caught up in the materialism of the moment, then having "more" seems to be the answer to a lack of self-worth. We can prove (by making others notice us for a moment) that we are worthy because of the size of our home, car, or diamond.

Well, I have seen the error of my ways. I have the debt to prove it and what I've learned is this.

Doing/experiencing things is far more meaningful and lasting than simply buying things. Anyone can stand in a line and buy something they can (or worse) can't afford.

Now that I am in the mid-point of my life, I realized that I have succumbed to Affluenza. I am afflicted as are so many other Americans. Don't get me wrong, I see the error of my ways. I know that Retail Therapy is not healthy. However, ask any woman and most likely, she has lifted her spirits by swiping her credit card.

How then does one avoid the Shopocalypse? (See the movie's website for a defintion). How does a suburban working mother of three stop this crazy pattern?

I have developed a new mission statement for my family - a Mantra if you will. From this moment on -

My family is dedicated to educational moments, having many shared experiences and creating excitement in our day to day lives.

All gifts and future shopping will have to support our mission statement and therefore will allow us to do more instead of buy more.

After all, "What Would Jesus Buy?".

Peace, Shalom, and Merry Christmas.

Foggy Fields

As we drive to the school, my children are entralled by the mist that is lying across the fields . It's such as beautiful, mysterious sight especially to my youngest son who never tires of yelling "Whoa! Look at the fog!"

This morning was particularly beautiful due to the extra thin layer of mist that swirled over the fields adjacent to our neighborhood and their school. My daughter and son expressed their fascination with the way it danced and swirled like a cyclone across the pastures.

It's a rare sight and provides much pleasure to us along the way on our daily drive to school. I am glad I remembered to at least capture the moment on the blog or it might have become lost in the monotony of our everyday life.

Romance vs Marriage

My husband and I went to a wonderful wedding reception for a friend this past weekend. It's probably the 10th wedding we've attended as a married couple. I don't mind telling you that we've been married for 15 years so far. In that time, we've seen a littered trail of friends' marriages dissolve. To add to that, both our parents have gone through divorce and have blended families.

It seems that it's the oddity these days to stay married. I have wondered if we are just biding our time before the inevitable happens. But then, we happen upon a rare, incredible jewel of an evening where we see everything wonderful and in one another again. We revive the romance that has been buried under loads of laundry, mountains of bills, quelled under settling sibling disputes and conquered by countless times of cleaning carpets. We drift away from romance like ships drifting off course, but somehow, magically we find our way back to True North and true love. It's amazing how it happens. I attribute it to maturity, choosing your spouse wisely but mostly, being able to say yes to love, over and over again.

Connect with Giving Thanks

We just put away the jack-o-lanterns and now it's time for the turkey and stuffing in just two weeks.! As I think about the celebration of Thanksgiving, it moves me to pontificate with whom I'd like to spend my time over the holidays. I have to ask the question, "Who and what brings joy to my life?"


In my mind, Thanksgiving gives us real motivation to be deliberate in our thankfulness for those in our lives who give us sustenance, love, memories and enjoyment. When I get down to the nitty gritty, I know that I'm blessed with many people in my life. I just hope that God gives me the patience to deal with the blessings he's given me! I have two aging parents, two sisters, several nieces and two nephews, three parent-in-laws, one husband, three kids, one dog, one cat, several great neighbors and of course, my dear girlfriends.

When I think of who brings joy to my life, of course, I have to include all of the above. But there are many "things" that bring joy as well such as music, forwarded emails, e-cards, funny videos on YouTube, http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/ and www.ted.com/talks. I'll be honest, I spend 8 or more hours a day online thanks in part to my job and my ever-growing email addiction.

I plan to spend Thanksgiving offline all the while being thankful for the people in my life who exist in my day to day world and maybe, I'll sneak in a few emails just for good measure.

Doing Well vs Doing Good

I recently read that the middle class is too busy doing well to do good. I feel that pinch in my life. My husband and I both work full time, come home to three children and then handle dinner, homework, dance class and of course, we turn on the TV most nights. In my opinion, this is not all there is. I feel like we could/should be doing more for others around us and with our blessings that we have in our lives.

We are searching for a church again and with the holidays upon us, I am feeling the need to find a way to reach out to make more of a difference on a more personal level so that our entire family can be involved.

How do you do good or are you too busy doing well?

Living a lifetime in One Day

One of my favorite movies is The World According to Garp with Robin Williams based on the book by John Irving. One of the most memorable scenes to me was when Garp (Williams) is playing dragon with his sons in the front yard. He tells Helen (his wife) that sometimes you can live a lifetime in one day.

I think I did just that. The best of times and the worst of times all in one day, okay, maybe a weekend.

This beautiful sunny weekend was wrought with challenges in parenting and emotional well-being. My husband and I faced dealing with my gifted yet severely ADD 13 year old son and his whopping 11 average in Math class. Yes, you read correctly. An 11 average in pre-algebra. How exactly does one accomplish that? I try to tell him that "F" doesn't stand for "fabulous" but somehow it doesn't register.

Throw into that my youngest son who has anger issues, an empty checking account, a cranky husband, and a daughter who hosted a sleepover for two other girls and you have quite a fun time!!

Parenting and marriage are tough on a daily basis. The balancing act of keeping one's cool in the face of teenagers, a mountain of laundry, the maltepoo who still isn't house trained at 1 1/2 years old and oh yeah, trying to squeeze in some "fun" is not always easy. Somehow though, we managed to bond over the weekend, by cooking breakfast, taking a Sunday drive to a quaint college town and watching all the kids frolic among the fall leaves and huge oak trees while wrestling and turning cartwheels as my husband and I walked arm-in-arm.

Just like Garp, we lived a lifetime in one day. We probably do this everyday but we don't always take a moment to acknowledge it. I am glad I did this time.